It's common when observing a playgroup to notice one child who seems more reserved than the rest. You might notice your little one devotedly attached to your hip, instead of joining their fellow peewees in a round of merriment. Alternately, you may see them go into hiding mode upon bumping into your neighbor who never misses sharing a friendly smile.
If you relish open conversations and uninhibited social interaction, this might leave you feeling slightly uncomfortable. However, it is essential to realize that episodes of shyness are a common occurrence within the toddler phase, and these segments of introversion can arise from a plethora of reasons.
To answer the question that might be looming on your mind, shyness within toddlerhood is indeed average. Developmentally, it's suitable for a shy toddler as they do not possess the experience to navigate a new environment or an unfamiliar face like an older child would confidently do.
Your child might exhibit this innate temperament due to being wired differently (more details further in this piece), but over time, they are very likely to grow out of this phase.
The tendency for toddlers to have a knack for expressing regular shyness between the ages of 1-3 manifests from various sources. It is believed to be herseditary in some instances, as there is research evidence supporting the notion of shyness having biological roots. Some toddlers have been observed to naturally be more introverted or bashful due to their inborn dispositions.
Another reason for shyness in toddlers is that they do not have much firsthand exposure or experience - social skills are still more or less a foreign concept to them.
As these tots are still grappling with basic life skills like conversing or interacting with other kids during playtime. Naturally, they may not command the same level of confidence as other outgoing toddlers.
The wide world might seem like an adventurous panorama filled with endless opportunities. But for a little person who is just sprouting their social engagement wings, it can be highly intimidating and feel safer to stick to a timid and cautious outlook.
While some kids shed their reserved temperament once they start preschool, it remains persistent for some others requiring a helping hand along the way. It helps when parents display a confident demeanor when interacting with others, easing them into unfamiliar territory or introducing them to new faces.
When brought into unfamiliar settings, gentle coaxing coupled with positive affirmations and encouragement could help their morale.
Try to refrain from pushing him into social situations that they might not be ready for yet. It's important to remember that accepting the toddler’s temperament, whether an extrovert or introvert, is helpful in building self-esteem.
Over time, with more exposure to new scenarios and experiences, the toddler will gradually feel more comfortable while playing with other children and engaging in conversations with friendly adults.
Avoid referring to the toddler as ‘shy’ as it might result in a self-fulfilling prophecy and influence them to evade uncomfortable situations. Maintain their self-esteem by abstaining from comparisons with more outgoing kids and refrain from forcing them to engage in interaction with other adults.
If the toddler seems comfortable around their adult figure, you can assist them in making the most of the social event, by filling in any awkward silences during the conversation.
When planning play dates, it would significantly help if parents initiated the gathering with a relatively smaller crowd consisting of kids the toddler is already comfortable around, like neighbors or cousins for instance. Children who are slightly younger or older would facilitate in creating a relaxed ambiance for the toddler and help them build confidence.
Preparing the toddler for a social event ahead of time provides them with an outlook of what to expect, facilitating in calming nerves and building confidence. Giving a brief overview of the names of other kids and adults they will meet at the event can provide a sense of familiarity and alleviate stress.
Scripting preconceived responses to certain situations expected during the social event could help the toddler take initiative during conversations. For younger toddlers, breaking down the entire situation and demonstrating the ideal response would be helpful.
Gradually, the introverted toddler would start to step out of their comfort zone and venture into uncharted social territories when they ready.
Having said that, if constant shyness hinders the toddler’s everyday life and prevents participation in general activities, it might be something more severe, like social anxiety. Symptoms that could be red flags include constant sadness and anxiety, complaints of physical discomfort in social settings. Consulting a pediatrician would clear the air and ease any worries that the parents might harbor.
Nevertheless, most toddlers tend to overlook social interactions since they're still comprehending the basics of social engagement. Allow the child to take their time as it’s also completely okay for the child to prefer watching from the sidelines than participating directly.