WHY TODDLERS BECOME BOSSY
Have you ever experienced a relentless demand from your adorable toddler? This is a common scenario many parents encounter. Innocent as it may seem, continuous bossy behavior from toddlers may eventually become problematic not only towards the parents but also for their peer playmates.
Many 2 to 3-year-olds tend to showcase bossy behavior. This stage of toddler life is marked by their newfound love for independence, the spark of their leadership skills, and their insatiable quest for autonomy. However, their view of the world at this stage revolves primarily around their needs, leading to the assumption that other people also want the same things.
Bossiness may be their way of exerting control in a world where adults overpower them. For instance, a toddler may feel in control by selecting the pair of shoes she wants to wear even if her mother insists she wears shoes. Some children have naturally dominant personalities that can come off as bossiness.
Fortunately, this phase doesn't last forever. As soon as they turn 3, little bosses start outgrowing this behavior as they become more socially aware, understanding others' feelings, and realizing that people have different needs.
PRODUCTIVE WAYS TO MANAGE BOSSINESS
The transition from this stage is usually smoother when parents lightly suppress these demanding instincts but still reinforce their toddler’s innate leadership urge. It’s often frustrating when a 3-year-old starts bossing around, but remember, toddlers aren't tactfully plotting a power battle. They are merely exploring their limits.
Rather than a strict disciplinarian approach, nurturing is what they need the most at this stage. Toddlers feel out of control most of the time as they don't make the majority of the decisions affecting their lives. By offering choices, you can give them a sense of control and power.
Involve your kid in simple home chores. Praise and appreciate them when they help. This boosts their self-esteem and fills their attention demands without them having to boss anybody. It’s also an excellent way to instill good behavior and citizenship.
STARTING FROM THE BASICS
Make social teachings part of their everyday life. Teach them to ask politely, use “please,” share, and take turns. These simple social skills can start with something straightforward as community crayons. Empathy can be developed by asking them how they would feel if their toy was taken away. However, keep in mind that children under 3 can't wholly grasp this concept.
And remember that toddlers copy the way adults behave, although it doesn't always seem like it. You'll be surprised to see your toddler following your mannerisms and tone while giving instructions that she seemed to have discarded. You can use this to promote and model the behavior you wish to see in your child.
BOUNDARIES ARE ESSENTIAL
One of the ironical instances about toddlers is their craving for routine and structure, only to disrupt them later. It's crucial to establish limits. When out of line, calmly let them know, and do not give in.
If improper attitude persists, a time-out might be needed. If used appropriately, this tool helps toddlers correct their behavior and think through their actions. The time-out should last approximately one minute for each year of their life. For instance, a 3-year-old should have a 3-minute time-out.
Alternatively, a time-in can be used. This is a short, positive interaction with a caregiver or parent and allows the toddler to cool off. It’s an opportunity to discuss the event and deliberate on a better approach when faced with a similar situation in the future.