Toddlers are delightful little beings who can fill your day with laughter and love. With their endearing hugs and sloppy kisses, they can melt your heart within seconds. But sometimes, this lovely façade is shattered when your sweet darling suddenly throws a tantrum or hits you hard without any warning. These aggressive behaviors can include acts like pushing, biting, kicking, holding their breath, and even clinging.
This aggressive behavior usually arises from a lack of understanding about how their actions impact others. Moreover, at this age, toddlers lack remorse that usually comes with social maturity. Here we explore the dynamics of aggressive behavior in toddlers and strategies to effectively manage it.
Triggers of Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers
One may wonder what is prompting such unfavorable actions in toddlers. The causes can be varied; from having an excess of energy to being simply hungry or weary. Even the most well-behaved children may resort to physical expressions of emotion when they are overwhelmed by frustration or rage. Unfortunately, when their emotions run high, toddlers tend to act impulsively, skipping the option of 'using their words'.
In absence of adequate verbal skills, toddlers often use their bodies as a medium of communication. If their words fail to convey their message adequately, they instinctively turn to a more primitive method of interaction. In some instances, some toddlers don’t necessarily need the provocation of anger. The sheer exhilaration that comes with acting aggressively might be enough to ignite a physical response.
Factors Influencing Aggressive Behavior
A tired or hungry toddler is likelier to behave badly. Furthermore, toddlers naturally lack empathy, impulsivity, and social skills which also causes them to act aggressively. In their egocentric worldview, they don't perceive any notable difference between hitting a toy and hitting a friend. And, they invariably consider all visible objects to be their own.
However, circumstances and environment aren't the sole contributors to aggressive behavior in toddlers. Genetics too plays a part in dictating a child’s temperament. Hence, children from the calmest of homes can demonstrate aggressive tendencies.
Handling Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers
When dealing with toddler aggression, keeping your composure is paramount. The goal is to respond calmly instead of reacting impulsively to the challenging behavior. Do not reprimand or punish physically. Instead, try explaining to your child in a gentle and concise manner about what behavior is acceptable and what is not.
You must also be patient in repeating these rules consistently so as to reinforce the values and principles you want your toddler to internalize. Declaring the house rules for physical engagement, like no hitting or biting, and repeating these rules every time your toddler breaks them can go a long way in teaching them self-control.
Preventing Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers
There are also ways to keep aggression at bay. Limit the toddler’s exposure to violent toys and violent content on TV and in video games. Ensuring safe play is another important way to avoid aggressive behavior. Show them that hitting their dolls is not acceptable. If they continue the same behavior on playdates, take swift action to stop it.
Understanding your toddler's triggers can be beneficial in preventing an undesirable outburst. These triggers could be feelings of exhaustion, hunger, stress, or overstimulation. Keep a lookout for these cues and respond proactively to tame their aggression.
Children Playgroups and Aggression
Drama during playdates is not uncommon. It’s possible for a toddle to manifest aggression in group settings, especially if a fellow toddler is acting aggressively. Consistency and supervision in laying down ground rules can help minimize such incidents.
If an aggressive scenario does occur, first soothe the victim (avoiding taking sides!). Then calmly explain that actions, like hitting and kicking, are not allowed and will halt the play session if continued.
When Should You Be Concerned?
If you've observed the aggressive pattern persisting for weeks despite your intervention, or if it's becoming difficult to handle your child, you should reach out to a pediatrician.
Aggression in toddlers is not abnormal, but patience, communication, and understanding can alleviate it. As your child grows and matures, empathetic behaviors will replace aggression and your child will understand the consequences of hurting others.